Mile #173 Justin
Justin Alexander Rosner
July 7th, 2016 - February 5th 2019
Justin was officially diagnosed with Stage 3 Rhabdomyosarcoma on November 1st 2017 at the age of 15 months. Here are two leters his parents wrote for him shortly after he passed:
My dearest Justin,
It’s been 11 days since you left this earth. And for 11 days, I’ve felt an emptiness like no other kind. I go back and forth between sadness and anger. I’m sad that you were taken from us so soon and couldn’t live out the extraordinary life that you began to live. I’m angry that you had to suffer so much, especially your last month with us. You will always be the strongest person I know...a true superhuman warrior. Just in case you don’t know what an amazing human you were and spirit that you are, here’s a little reminder.... You loved life. You made the best of every situation. You smiled through the pain and found joy in all things. You didn’t hold onto bad feelings. You cared about everyone. And you showed your heart to anyone who was interested. During your short time on this earth, you inspired, you persevered, you learned, you taught, you listened, you laughed, you cried, you danced and you loved. I’ve never known anyone like you nor will I ever again. You had a gift for connecting with people on a deeper level....at the core. You understood things about life that most people are never able to figure out. For many months we were praying for a miracle to keep you here with us. But in the end it was obvious that you were the miracle all along. Thank you for being an amazing human being...for showing us what life is truly about...for fighting as hard as you could to stay with us. Thank you for being the best son a mother could ask for. And the best little brother. Thank you for allowing me to care for you and love you. And thank you for loving me. I miss you every second of every day and carry you in my heart now & always. I know you’re in grandma Ferda’s arms watching over all of us with a great big smile. Keep dancing sweetie. I love you ❤️💛 Love, Mommy
There are no words to describe the agony and torment of no longer having you here in the physical form. Rather than trying to keep busy or suppressing the heartbreak, sadness, despair, anger, and guilt, I am trying my best to embrace it all, in order to make room for joy, love, happiness, and most importantly HOPE.
At times I feel survivors remorse. It should have been me with cancer- not you.
Regardless, I know that you want me to be happy and to be my best self for Mommy and Kacey. So that’s what I will do!!! It won’t be easy, but you have given me, and continue to give me, more than enough love to get thru this pain and to WIN with whatever hand life deals me...
Throughout the past 16 months, people have often said, “I don’t know how you and Melis do it, you guys are so strong.” And I would always respond- ”It’s nothing. Justin is the one that is strong. He’s the tough one.”
And although I will never be as strong or courageous as you, you have introduced me to strength I never knew I had. Watching you fight since the day you were born, is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. It is also the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed...
But honestly, any parent could do it if they had you as son. Being your father is an honor and a privilege that I will always be grateful for. Not everyone’s son is a warrior...
During our last stay at the hospital, it occurred to me that I had never truly thanked you for being such an incredible little man. And I am glad I had the chance to say THANK YOU.
Thank you for being so brave for our family.
Thank you for teaching me about what is important in life.
Thank you for always being there for ME. Since your diagnosis, all I wanted to do was be there for you. It wasn’t until recently that I realized, it is YOU that has truly always been there for me.
And thank you for loving me unconditionally. I have always been able to feel your love and I always will.
I miss you so much. Whether listening to music, teaching you to use the turntables, playing outside, eating french fries, or watching proudly as you overcame any obstacle in your way- no one makes me smile quite like you. Without hesitation, I would take my worst day with you, over my best day without you.
Although your spirit is very much alive, and your legacy has just begun, it hurts not having you next to me. Thankfully, I KNOW you are in a much better place. Somewhere dancing, with and . You can learn a lot from them- you know that. Just never forget- you have your own style too!!
Justin- you will always be my son. I will always be your father, and you will always be my hero and inspiration. May your memory always be a blessing.
I love you and I’ll see you soon.